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Thursday, October 06, 2005

TOP 10 REASONS BEN STEVENS SHOULD GO TO IRAQ


The GOP-controlled Senate voted 90-9 on Wednesday to back an amendment to the Defense Spending Bill that would prohibit the use of "cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment" against anyone in U.S. government custody, regardless of where they are held. Sponsor John McCain said that the United States is losing its Moral Authority in the War on Terrorism in the eyes of the world, particularly in the Arab-speaking World.

Alaska's Senior Senator Ted Stevens was the only Senator to speak against the amendment. An embarrassment to Alaska? Yes. But the Senior Senator, whose snout is famously buried in the loamy soils of Washington D.C. (as documented so well by the Los Angeles Times [1]), is not the only embarrassment to Alaska. Senator Stevens' Son, Ben, has inherited the arrogant snout-gene from his Dad and he is well on his way to building a career in Alaska leveraging his father's power into a personal fortune. This is currently being well-documented in the Anchorage Daily News.
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[1] Chuck Neubauer and Richard T. Cooper. "Senator's Way to Wealth Was Paved With Favors." The Los Angeles Times. December 17, 2003,

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The Top 10 Reasons Ben Stevens Should Go To Iraq
10. Experience life someplace where he is properly appreciated;
9. Apply the vast knowledge gained from shoring up his own reputation to an equally improbable task: the reconstruction of Iraq;
8. Take a risk more challenging than day-trading
7. Provide a replacement for someone who deserves to come home;
6. With the vast numbers of maimed children of the War, Ben could help organize and then consult for an Iraqi Special Olympics Committee;
5. Ben's charisma and sparking sense of humor could be a real morale boost for our troops;
4. Ben could drive his SUV along the Iraq Airport Road clearing the roadside bombs for our troops;
3. Ben would learn to take orders from someone other than his dad;
2. Ben would be remembered for being something other than a corrupt politician;
...and the No. 1 Reason why Ben Stevens should go to Iraq....

...if Ben gets captured, he can say "thanks, Dad" over Al Jazeera!

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LetterMan said...

Excellent list!

We should continue it with other known Republican politicians, like Lisa! Murkowski and Tom Delay.

metanoia2k said...

Great idea, Letterman...maybe a project for the long weekend...you start!

Metanoia2k